- me: i'm just going to rest my eyes for 5 minutes.
- me: wakes up march 27th, 2098.
an epic trilogy
and it, erm, pushes stuff up in a way that makes me look like a 19th century prostitute
i’ve discovered why people like collarbones so much…
theyre perfect for chips and dip.
I JUST FOUND OUT ABOUT GLOSTER CANARIES AND I’M GONNA CRY LOOKIT THEM
THEY HAVE BOWLCUTS
LOOK AT THAT SMUG LITTLE FUCKER WITH HIS FUCKING BOWLCUT
what i’m looking for in a man:
- will lend me his hoodies
- good sense of humor
- is a cutie patootie
- will slay my enemies in a brutal display of violence and paint his face with their blood
- good taste in music
and he has it alllll.
the real me
OH MY GOD
the hand holding the tap though
is that jane?
there’s a snake in my bathroom and it’s being a lil shit and knocked everything off the windowsill and won’t get down from the showerhead now
listen buddy i’m glad you came out of the sink cupboard and used the clothesrack ladder i made for you to climb up to the window but please leave through the hole you entered don’t just sit there and glare at me fucker
i’m guessing you’re from australia…?